Fake Porn Coin Vol. 1: Why you shouldn’t invest in adult startups
VR porn, anonymous crypto payments, daily token value growth and all in all – fake teams and dead pornstars. A cautionary tale about getting fucked over hard in the porn blockchain. Make no boners about it.
Audrey Sin was sitting at the bar of a roadside café for truckers. She’d just ordered her fourth straight Bourbon of the evening. No matter how much the girl tried to drink herself into forgetting, the alcohol didn’t have the desired effect. Maybe it was the tablets that the assistant director made her take in the morning, maybe it was the stress.
It took 8 hours to film the gangbang she starred in. The 10 crisp Ben Franklins in the actress’s purse brought her no joy at all. On the contrary, Audrey hated life and herself: young, naive and running away from college into adulthood. Where instead of Jay Gatsbys, luxurious parties and designer dresses, she found rough men with huge dicks, tons of lube and McDelivery.
The bar was closing and the truckers couldn’t do anything to help the lovely Miss Sin but give her booze, which was useless anyway. And a day later she’d be back on set again…
Every second, more than 28,000 people around the world are watching porn. Which makes the industry very attractive for business. There was no way the cryptocurrency boom could pass it by. For example, Verge signed an agreement with MindGeek (a large porn holding that includes Brazzers, Digital Playground and other popular adult film studios). So now you can pay for porn in cryptocurrency. The Canadians also began to accept transactions in TRON and Zencash.
It would be very strange if the crypto scammers were to drop the ball on a such an opportunity. After all, it’s very easy to spin potential investors an attractive yarn about a rich market and ultra-fast returns. Porn connoisseurs can be promised premium accounts. It’s the same with escort services. Pimps are tired of burning fuel in their pimped Buicks waiting for their girls to come back from a hard shift at work. Now they are supposed to be replaced by some sorry excuses for WhoreTinders. Of course, the founders don’t have the money for this, but there’s always the well-known scheme of selling shitcoins.
There really are a lot of lame adult ICOs. So we decided to choose the 6 most relevant and tell you why it’s better to send love letters to Chasey Lain than invest in these projects.
Mission: give wankers the opportunity to pay for porno, live cams and dating services anonymously and safely. All thanks to blockchain and the Bunny token (ERC-20). Operations will be conducted on a special platform, which is promised for next year.
How much money and for what: the plan was to raise $42m. 30% was supposed to be spent on developing the platform, 25% on specialised meetings and conferences to find partners, 35% on marketing and 10% to sustain the startup’s staff. During the ICO, $8.5m was raised.
What’s wrong: the promise that the token would grow 1% in value every day caught the attention of Reddit users. That really is a cheap hustle. The referral program is nothing more than a pyramid scheme – you get 10% of the tokens bought through your link. Right on their website, the team members give fake details about their education. A quarter of investors’ money will be splurged on conferences. What a fucking smart investment. At the end of the day, no one has ever bothered to explain why it’s impossible to pay for porn with Bitcoin and Ethereum? Why bother with these fucking BUNNYs?
Expectation/Reality: The whitepaper talks about how much money the porn business makes. At this point, you’re already excited with a hard-on, imagining an orgy in Ibiza. Then you look at the list of the would-be startup’s partners and realise that you don’t know a single site on it. And that won’t change. The most likely scenario is that they will buy an exchange listing and do a bit of pumping before the token dies. Just like investors’ erections.
Mission: make a universal platform under the name of Pornscope (the Periscope of porn) where it will be possible to watch porn, webcams and livestreamed orgies, as well as buying toys from a sex shop and ordering hookers for offline entertainment. All of that will be anonymous and smooth thanks to blockchain and the AEN token (ERC-20). The owners of even a few tokens will get access to unlimited amounts of pornography from the startup’s partners. Which they have shitloads of, if the team’s statements are to believed.
How much money and for what: they want $35m. 40% for development, 30% on marketing, 10% each for office/studio rental, orgy parties for live streams and staff.
What’s wrong:
What is this shit? The cost of a porn film, even the seediest one, is at least $15k. The fees for at least two actors, studio and equipment rent, directors, sound engineers, assistants, etc. have to be compensated. Although the job can be done for cheaper at home on a GoPro without editing. Okay, let’s say that all these amateur home videos belong to the team and they’re worth $5,000 each – that still comes out to 15,000,000,000 dollars. Why do you even need an ICO then? Sell the videos with your obscure labels and buy all of Rembrandt’s paintings back from the oil sheikhs.
Look at the social media profiles of these porn magnates. Nothing but sex shops and soccer… Where are the billions hiding?
Stop. The whitepaper says that Serge founded the huge Vice Media Group.
Oops. Google doesn’t know about it. All the articles are about a corporation with the same name, but there’s no sign of Serge over there.
The team also contains fading small-town pornstars. How are you supposed to win the AVN Awards with them?
Look what the startup’s income is going to be spent on.
Just as much money will be spent on buying back tokens from investors as giveaways and other vulgar competitions? I can just see the token’s value growing like Jack’s magic beanstalk.
Expectation/Reality: As with the previous startup, you might think that it’s possible for a service to bring together all the important attributes of online and offline sex services. But in fact we find that blockchain isn’t really needed (alright, you can pay in cryptocurrency for anonymity), and the token has been dreamt up just for the sake of it. The same goes for the whitepaper, which is somewhere between One Thousand and One Nights and the Decameron. To cut a long story short, it’s all bullshit – fuck it, we’ll do it live!
Mission: give the world porn in 4K, 8K, 3D, VR and AR. Then throw in blockchain and anonymous payments in PCC tokens (ERC-20).
How much money and for what: they wanted 95,000 ETH (this was last autumn, so about $35m) and got a bit more than a million (dollars). It was planned to spend 40% of the money on product development, 15% on marketing, 13% on content creation, 10% on infrastructure, 7% on operating expenses and 5% each on lawyers, the support service and merch. Looks good on paper. But in fact they’ve done precisely fuck all.
What’s wrong: for example, this:
They killed Kenny. You bastards!
The road map was apparently written by completely different people. No token listing on exchanges, no iOS app, no blockchain integration on the website, no media portal with articles and news. The only thing they have is a website with a load of pirate videos. Someone should really write to Brazzers and get these freeloaders banned. But what could we expect from a project that has Russian porn actress Katrin Tequila, who also popped up in the Bunny Token team, as an adviser.
The project is dead. It’s pretty symbolic that their last tweet was about Yurizan Beltran, an actress who committed suicide last December. These damn porn masters, of course, had no idea.
Expectation/Reality: investors expect to strike gold thanks to top-quality porno that gives you the impression of being there. Then – oh no! – their money goes missing somewhere. And even Katrin Tequila is unhappy with the result so she has to go to earn her keep at another orgy with a bunch of black guys.
To be continued
But if you really want to help reveal scams and have blockchain move in the right direction, send us info and share your leaks and findings. We’ll post everything and smash the scammers into moon dust.
In blockchain we trust!
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